A puppy isn't just for Christmas you know!

But perhaps a Dog is?? Sony Playstation and Island Records have announced an innovative new enterprise partnership type deal, allowing the unlikely cross genre marketing of computer games and indie rock bands.
The new scheme will go on trial in time for Christmas and will allow games fans access to their very own member of a band for an entire evening, with every purchase of new sony game GROUPIE CARNAGE; - a typical shoot-em-up set at the concert of the viewers choice. In this case that of London band Dogs at their recent Scala show.

Johnny Cooke, the shaggy, shaggable Dogs singer, commented that, while initially wary of marketing the band in this way, they'd already sucked plenty of corporate cock on their way up and once more wouldn't really matter. He went on to say "we’d think this is an excellent way to get to know the fans on a one to one basis, and Rikki [the slightly mental looking Dogs guitarist] is particularly looking forward to it. Don’t be afraid kids!”

Groupie Carnage will be unleashed on the public this December!

We Are Scientists unveil their giant portable something.

A spokesperson yesterday confirmed that the band had finally lived up to their nerdy name and had invented a “something”.

What this something is has yet to be confirmed but we can exclusively reveal that it is indeed totally portable. Beardy and Geeky Scientist are apparently able to carry the “something” between them – even though it is a “giant something” - and take it on tour with them. Cute Scientist is currently unable to assist in this process, as his overly long fringe prevents him seeing where he's going.

Finally, this so called news story was not just an excuse to put up another picture of the Scientists and rumours that Fringey is getting desperate for material are completely unfounded.

(At the time of going to press Fringey News still hadn’t bothered finding out what their real names are. But you know who we mean.)

Planet of the Apes?

Fringey can now exclusively reveal that the Arctic Monkeys plan to defy conventional wisdom and launch their next single from the South Pole.

Wearing fairly nondescript clothing, Singing Monkey said that the band “hope to conquer the world from the bottom up”. While cheeky chappie Drumming Monkey let slip that they still need to finish their BTEC diplomas in 'Being in a Band' before they can hope to complete the mixing of their debut album, tentatively titled ‘We’re a Jammy Bunch of Chancers Aren’t We?'.

The shadowy pop svengali behind the rapid rise of the boys, known only as Organ Grinder, released a statement denying that there are any actual plans for world domination.

The Acne Monkeys have remained silent on continuing speculation that they were somehow involved with the mysterious disappearance of the Antarctic Monkeys; on whose turf they plan to do the single launch.

This little piggy ...

Carl - not the junkie - Libertine yesterday finally admitted that he is “getting a bit chubby on it” and that on his recent tour with new band, Dirty Pretty Things, he had in fact been “eating all the pies”.

We can exclusively reveal that, the still quite shaggable, Mr Barat regrets his constant pigging out; he recently mumbled to us, “we were in Italy and then France and all that pasta, and those breadsticks, it were just too much for me”.

This news will not help sales of the bands new material, but Carl, dressed in slimming black, has reassured fans that he has every intention of getting “quite buff” in time for the UK tour and album launch. He is currently in consultation with Rosemary Conley and Iggy Pop, working on a fitness program that will get him back into the skinny-long-hair mould favoured by most indie boy bands, but scotched rumours of a possible asymmetric hair cut, saying “it would be a bit too wanky art school”.

We *think* he went on to say “I never actually finished university, choosing instead to rent my young arse out to dirty old men while waiting for the Libertines big break”. But who can really understand a word that comes out of his mouth?